July 2020 saw the continuation in the global upsurge in Black Lives Matter protests and action. It was an opportunity for many people to reflect on how they might be covertly or overtly reproducing systemic inequality and oppression through the more subtle language and behaviours we take part in day-to-day.
Putting language to these kinds of behaviours can be immensely empowering – to those who are on the receiving end, and also to those who have been guilty of enacting them. With a greater understanding of concepts like microaggressions, tone-policing, gaslighting and cultural appropriation, we can recognise them, call them out, and change our own actions too.
This is also a reminder that systemic oppression is all around us all the time, in the everyday interactions we have – in the workplace, on public transport, around the family dinner table, in the media we consume. By collectively raising our awareness and changing our behaviours we can have a much greater positive impact.
microaggression
‘Microaggression’ might feel like a buzzword but it's been around since 1970. It's described as everyday language or behavioural slights or snubs, which are frequently not intended to cause harm or hurt feelings, but their impact often does just that, particularly towards culturally marginalised groups.
The term was originally coined by a Black professor and psychiatrist Dr Chester Pierce of Harvard University. He defined it as “subtle, stunning, often automatic and nonverbal exchanges which are ‘put-downs’ of Black people.” The ‘micro’ prefix isn’t a measurement of size of the slight. It means it happens at the ‘micro’ level, ie, between individuals (source: @theconsciouskid)
Common microaggressions include phrases like “I don’t see colour”, “Where are you from?”, “Your English is so good”, as well as behaviours such as men disproportionately talking over or ignoring women in meetings, Black people or POC being followed by security in a shop, and disabled people not being believed when they speak up about the discrimination they face.
One of the tricky things about microaggressions is that sometimes it’s hard to put your finger on why it feels wrong or maybe it feels too insignificant to call it out. Nevertheless, we must remembert hat even when seemingly innocent, microaggressions serve to uphold oppressive structures and stereotypes.
tone policing
If you’ve recently tried to make a point and got shut down for being too emotional, you might have been tone-policed. Tone policing is when a person’s ideas are criticised - and silenced - on the basis that their tone is too emotional. Meanwhile the content of their message is ignored.
When marginalised groups attempt to share their experiences of oppression, tone policing is used as a tactic to silence them by derailing the discussion and critiquing the emotionality of the message. It puts power in the hands of those with privilege, who can define the terms and tone of a conversation about oppression in order for that discussion to continue. (Source: Robot hugs via @everydayfeminism)
Some examples of tone policing:
“I feel like you’re not willing to have a civil discussion with me.”
“There’s no way this can be discussed productively until you calm down.”
“Maybe you’d get what you’re asking for if you asked more nicely.”
“It’s hard to take feminists seriously when they’re so angry all the time!”
These kinds of responses create a barrier for progress in the pursuit of social justice and equality, as marginalised people are forced to repeat their messages over and over again. This can be emotionally exhausting.
gaslighting
Gaslighting is a term coined by psychologist Robin Stern. It’s a specific type of manipulation where the manipulator is trying to get someone else (or a group of people) to question their own reality, memory or perceptions. For example, a gaslighter might say something one day, and then a few days later, deny having said that thing.
It may start out with seemingly small offences. But over time even insignificant instances of you questioning your own judgment or reality — thanks to the deliberate intent of someone else — can snowball.
A consequence of gaslighting is ending up in a cycle of not being able to negotiate your daily life in a way where you are clear minded, can focus, can make sound decisions, and have a sense of well-being.
Potential signs of gaslighting can include:
You ask yourself, “Am I too sensitive?” many times per day.
You often feel confused and even crazy in the relationship.
You’re always apologising.
You know something is wrong but you just don’t know what.
You wonder if you are good enough.
Indeed, all of these symptoms can occur with anxiety disorders, depression, or low self-esteem BUT the difference with gaslighting is that there is another person or group that’s actively engaged in trying to make you second-guess what you know is true. If you don’t typically experience these feelings with other people but do with one particular individual, then you might be a victim of gaslighting.
While gaslighting can occur in one-to-one relationships or conversations, such as in a romantic relationship or between co-workers, it can also happen on a group level. For example, it has been argued that Donald Trump is gaslighting an entire nation when he denies saying something that he previously said.
In social justice, gaslighting can show up when a person speaks up about their experience of oppression and is told they’re making it up or imagining things. This can make it difficult to speak up against inequality, and lead to mental health issues.
cultural appropriation
Cultural appropriation is when a systemically dominant group of people or society adopts the customs, practices, ideas and symbols of a marginalised or non-dominant group of people or society (the source culture).
There are two data points to cultural appropriation: first, a power imbalance, which upholds systems of oppression that were established during colonisation and continue post-colonisation. Secondly, there is harm to the source group involved, which can equate to the depleting of their material, spiritual or financial resources - or all three.
Cultural appropriation shows itself in nearly every area of popular culture. Yoga and wellbeing, fashion, music, art, hairstyles, language, dialect or vernacular and interior design are all spaces where aspects of marginalised cultures have historically been appropriated by more dominant groups.
Halloween is a time of year when cultural appropriation is rife. For example, when people superficially adopt aspects of North American indigenous cultures while ignoring the broader cultural context and significance of those aspects.
Yet cultural appropriation often presents a grey area, with people often making the argument that cultural appropriation is actually cultural ‘appreciation’. Indeed if a non-Hindu person wears a t-shirt with a picture of a Hindu god on it, is that cultural appropriation?
Our co-founder @roshnigoyate draws the line at financial or positive gain. For example, if a person or company from a dominant culture makes money or gains popularity by borrowing or stealing from another non-dominant culture - and even if they credit the source - it is appropriation. Through this lens, if the Hindu god t-shirt is made and sold by a company founded by non-Hindus, then the company is culturally appropriating.
Part of our mission at The Other Box is to educate as many people as possible in the language of Diversity, Equity and Inclusion (DEI). On all our social channels, we share weekly words and their definitions, with a different theme each month.
These terms are a taster and have been taken from our Diversity Dictionary™ module in our Know Your Bias™ course. If you'd like to learn more, check out our courses page and fill in the contact form.
Is there a theme you’d like to see covered in Diversity Dictionary? Let us know! Our work is co-created by our community to work towards creating a world that is more inclusive and safe for everyone.
Words by Roshni Goyate
Header image by Ricardo Aguilera on Unsplash