Last month, American singer-songwriter Lizzo released a song called Grrrls which contained an ableist slur. The disability community spoke up online, educated her on why the word in question was a slur, and asked her to change the words. In response, Lizzo apologised, took accountability and changed the lyrics.

Is that how you imagined this exchange would play out? Maybe not! We live in a world where cancel culture – the act of being publicly ostracised and shamed – has become the expected knee jerk reaction to anyone who, through their own privilege or lack of awareness, says or does the wrong thing. Of course, many did attempt to ‘cancel’ Lizzo. But cancel culture isn’t the only way.

This time, we saw the disability community – and in particular, the Black disability community, who face barriers along the lines of race and disability – speak up. And, more than that: rather than call her out, they called her in. Instead of cancel culture, they stood for compassion culture.

Lizzo listened and took action immediately. Here’s her response:

“It has been brought to my attention that there is a harmful word in my new song ‘GRRRLS’. Let me make one thing clear: I never want to promote derogatory language. As a fat black woman in America, I have had many hurtful words used against me so I overstand [sic] the power words can have (whether intentionally, or in my case, unintentionally). I’m proud to say there’s a new version of GRRRLS with a lyric change. This is a result of me listening and taking action. As an influential artist, I’m dedicated to being part of the change I’ve been waiting to see in the world.”

What can we all learn from this? That everyone, no matter how famous, or what marginalisation they already face, needs room to grow so we can become better allies. Cancel culture doesn’t allow for that. Educating with compassion and leading with love does.